“It’s not about you, Mom.”
That one sentence from my 19-year-old daughter (spoken with
a stern, loving, “mom” voice) made me pull it together recently.
As my youngest of two children, my precious Allie Rose,
prepares for her journey to Japan as a student in the Geneseo/Albany study
abroad program, given the most recent international state-of-affairs, I have
been in a terrible tailspin. Excited/frightened/sleepless with
worry/panicked/excited. Every day I’ve been checking the news daily on North
Korean missile-testing; wondering which political blunder might put us in a
third world war, and how soon; will Americans be ushered immediately home if
things fall apart; human trafficking concerns; what if ‘something’ happens to
her… I could go on, but you get the idea.
And every time someone asked, or I told someone, “she leaves
for Japan in (insert days, hours, minutes here),” the initial reaction from the
listener would be excitement. But then the heat of the trepidation radiating
from my motherly core would turn the conversation to consolation for me.
And that one line from Allie Rose woke me up.
It’s not about me. This blog can be about me, but Allie Rose’s Trip to Japan is about
Allie Rose, and her Trip to Japan.
For some reason, that one line from my daughter who is wise
beyond her years eased a great deal of my worry. It put reality into
perspective. It instilled within me the confidence that she is going to be all
right. My daughter may be going to Japan, but this is Alexandra Rose Giordano’s
first on the list of Life Dreams coming true.
It is one of a succession of Life Dreams she is achieving.
She graduated high school in the top 10 % of her class. She
is attending her third-choice college. Now she is going to Japan. Her next big
dream is to live in different countries every year or so and teach English. She
is not sure where she will settle down. But I know wherever that is, she will
be okay.
One by one, Alexandra is ticking off her Life-to-Do list and
nothing is slowing her down. And, this is good. This is how I raised her.
(Remember, this blog is about me.) I wanted a daughter who was confident (or at
least acted it), who was not afraid, who thought things through, but was guided
by intuition. Who did what she was afraid to do, knowing it would make her
stronger, better, and probably be fun after the initial scariness wore off. Who
would not be put off by the patriarchal hierarchy that continues to oppress
women even today.
Despite my worries, she is making life happen. Every now and
then there are glimpses of my little girl – in a late night text; in an early
morning snuggle; on a rainy afternoon watching television – but for the
most part, I now can enjoy this new relationship with my very capable,
intelligent, woman who is my daughter.
And, she is most definitely living up to the name we gave
her as a child. Our Amazing Allie Rose.
One of the best lessons she has learned from me, and I am in
turn now learning again from her, is one that I have tried to live each day.
And, she is acing it. This is, simply…
Life is for living. So, live it.
Good luck, Allie Rose, following and finding your dreams.
May the Gods guide your every step and moment.
